Words to Build Your Self Confidence

By Lisa Nuryanti

Many people said that they did not have any self confidence. Some said they did not have enough of it, some said they did not have it at all. Oh, Really? Why? Was it the result of negative words and thoughts?

Susan, a friend of mine, came to me one day. She told me about her trouble at work. She had lost her confidence. She had been working for one year, and yet she had not succeeded yet. Some of her co-workers always said that she had no talent for her job as a sales person. They also said that she was not attractive enough to sell the company's products.

I could see that she was desparate. She had lost her hope as well. So I started to ask her with a simple question. A very simple question, but very hard to answer.

"Do you think you are beautiful?", I asked her.

"No", she answered quickly.

"Allright. Are you attractive?"

"No", she gave an even quicker answer.

Well, for me she was beautiful and attractive enough. But she did not realized it. That was the biggest problem.
"Is the dress you are wearing pretty?"

"No".

"Why did you wear it?" I asked with a little smile.

"Because I do not have pretty dresses".

"Are you trying to say that all of your dresses are not pretty? They were ugly?"

"Yes".

"Why did you buy them at the first place? Why did you choose them?"

She kept silent for a moment, trying to find an answer to my question.

"Well. actually, when you bought them you felt they were pretty. Right?" I helped her.

"Wellllll ...... yesssss."

"Why did you say they were ugly?" I asked again.

She just smiled shyly and could not answer my question.

It was very obvious. She heard those negative words a lot, almost every day for a whole year. No wonder she started to believe them. She started to think like that.

I then told her that she was beautiful and that she was not that dumb nor unattractive. I started giving her positive words that would change her thoughts. The positive words should be genuine. I spoke the positive words from my heart. I believed them myself. I really thought that she was beautiful. I did.

I encourage her to think positively about herself. She needed not to listen to those words anymore. I asked her to write positive words about herself. I also wrote for her. She then left with a different aura. A more positive one.